Tuesday, June 7, 2011

This Post Brought To You By Uncle Chipster

So: Back in April I had some time on my hands. I had just finished writing my third novel in March, and I got that pesky 60th birthday thing out of the way as well. What to do? What to do? Hey, I know, I’ll build a bike!
You know me. I “build bikes” all of the time. That is to say, I take an old bike frame, slap some used parts on the thing and wheel it out to the curb with a “FREE!” sign on it. This new/old bike is usually gone within about ten minutes and I’m done. This time, however, the build was substantially different.
My friend Charles Brown builds recumbent bicycles out of boxed and laminated plywood. I have razzed him for years about building a prone instead of a recumbent, so that’s what I did: I built a prone. That is to say, I built a bicycle upon which you lay (lie?) on your stomach, arms out in front of you, and you pedal with your legs behind you rather like swimming. I dubbed it Project Underdog, as you tend to go down the road flying really low to the ground like Superman after a very rough night. Kinda like Underdog.
My neighbor Rudy donated a box aluminum girder to the cause to be used as the monobeam frame, and I bought a 20” wheeled full suspension mountain bike from Goodwill for $20 for the rear triangle, the wheels and other assorted bits and pieces. Chainwheel Drive , City Cycle, The Energy Conservatory and Re-Cycle Bicycles were all sources for parts for Underdog. Plus, you know me- I had a few things in the garage. Home Depot, Lowe’s and Harbor Freight provided the rest, as did JoAnn Fabrics (the foam padding for the hip pad).
I annoyed the neighbors to distraction through the month of May running my pneumatic cutting tool, air wrench and bench grinder. It was like Heavy Metal Heaven in the garage. Even I wore hearing protection. It was that loud. My compressor got a serious workout, as did I. Finally, after much cutting and drilling, Underdog came together on Memorial Day- and pretty much everything fit! Wow.
There was still a bunch of tweaking to do, and those extra-long tandem cables to buy, but the bike got built- AND IT WORKED. Ah, but how did it work, you ask? (Go ahead, ask.) Keep in mind that Underdog is 80 inches long and only 30 inches high at the top of the handlebars. It weighs in at 35 pounds (it’s got a couple of feet of heavy steel angle iron on the back end, along with 16 strong bolts, holding it all together). It’s a six speed with 100 psi road tires and the profile of a Steam Punk torpedo. Ok, so it looks really cool, but how does it ride? I’m glad you asked.
A number of people asked me, as they saw Underdog under construction, if I thought it would be tough to balance. I had no idea. At least it was low to the ground, so if it couldn’t be balanced, I didn’t have far to fall. That beats the snot out of how my high wheeler adventures ended up all those years ago. I will say this: I was seriously concerned with how low to the ground this thing was. NO ONE was going to see this thing on the road. If it was even rideable, was it safe?
Initial short test flights (in the garage and driveway) held on the evening of June 5th proved that it was at least rideable- but perhaps not the ideal machine for a 60-year old man to be playing with. Still, I rode it. It has a high stall speed, and it wants to go fast. Brakes are going to be very important. So is having plenty of rolling room. I need a longer runway for this thing. Much longer.
So here’s the deal: This coming Sunday afternoon, 1 p.m., June 12th, will be Underdog Day in Eagle Lake Park on Keene Road (between Belleair Road and East Bay Drive ) in Largo . JoAnn and I will be there, somewhere between Shelters 4 and 5, with Underdog, the prone bicycle.
You are invited to come and to laugh and point, and yes, to ride the thing. Bring your camera, as few will believe it, and words fail to describe. There’s a nice, reasonably flat, paved 5/8th mile loop right there in the park, so you can take this dog for a serious walk. Or ride, as the case may be. Hope to see you there!
(What does misery love?)



1 comment:

Anonymous said...

How about some pics?